Unlikely Seatmates
For those of you who know me this will be unbearably heard to believe; but I’m not as nice as you or I thought. Before I get into how I made this discovery let me say this: I’m at peace with this it because, chances are that, I’m nicer than you!
This new level of non-niceness confronted me while I was flying recently. I was seated next to a newly retired lady. She seemed like a good fit to be my seatmate for the 9 hr. Transatlantic flight. But then I realized she liked to talk; and it was already 11pm.
I have a flying routine. You probably do too, if you fly at all for work or leisure. Mine involves a bulkhead window seat wherever possible. I like the extra space. My legs are very short so the legroom doesn’t matter but I like to be able to get up and not disturb my seatmate. This is possible at the bulk head. I also like to be by the window. It has the advantage of no one in front of me or beside, and I can see that I’m flying some 30-40k feet above the earth, which is fun because we don’t really belong in the air.
My routine also involves getting on the plane as early as possible, unloading my flight essentials — iPad, Kindle, Journal…etc.; and then my most prized possession—- a pair of Bose 435 Bluetooth noise cancelling headphones that were given to me. After that I put my bags up in the overhead bin, put the headphones on and am lost to the world. It all takes about two to three mins.
But not this time. The determined and self-assured lady who I initially mistook for a good seatmate was not going to be stopped from interacting with me by my noise-cancelling headphones; or by the awkwardness of me having to notice her talking to the air while looking at me; or by the forced moment where I would remove my headphones and politely listen and then put them back on.
We hadn’t even pushed back from the gate and I knew an abbreviated version of her life history, her preferences for a ‘brought from home’ blanket and pillow rather than the airline’s; why she was traveling, and she offered me Purel wipes for my tray table so I wouldn’t get sick from the germs she knew were on this airplane ( I was thankful for those wipes).
If you’re following with me you might get that I was feeling a little annoyed. My reasoning was that I needed rest. I had just come off a busy week, I was headed back Di and the kids. “Doesn’t this lady know that you don’t talk to people with their headphones on?”
But then it occurred to me perhaps this lady needed to talk more than I needed to sleep. That thought hit hard. But this one hit even harder: Maybe I needed to listen more than I needed to sleep.
It was a still small nudge — I’m sure you’re familiar with those?
Regardless. It wasn’t long before I came to find out that she was a a Middle East expert, who taught at Georgetown University as well as American University, and was highly regarded in her field. Her expertise and scholarly ability was demonstrated in our conversation over dinner that touched on the Middle East conflicts, potential World War Three, Canada as a Peacemaker and current affairs on the geopolitical stage. The conversation was fascinating and a number of intriguing thoughts on current events were shared by her. She was brilliant. I learned a great deal; and gained further perspective for understanding the history in which the bible was written. I’m not sure if I contributed much of anything to the conversation but I was soaking it all in.
Once dinner was over and things quieted down for the evening I thought and reflected on chat from the last few hours. As I thought, and reflected, and looked into the mirror of my actions that was held up for me by this interaction; I didn’t like what I saw. What I saw reminded me of small ways that dignity is taken people. It reminded me of my own moments of being clearly ignored. Then I was reminded of how Jesus stopped often to listen. I realized and accepted that there was some disparity between my words and my actions.
The truth is that I’m not as nice as I could be. I’m not as humble as I thought and I’m not yelled to the Holy Spirit the way I should be.
Before you worry that I’m being hard on myself let me say that I am not. There is no condemnation for those in Christ (Rom. 8:1) But applying that scripture means we must examine ourselves against Christ’s example. When we are in too much of a hurry the Holy Spirit has a way of ‘holding the mirror up’ so that we can see who we are.
Also we don’t ALWAYs have to talk to our seatmate. However, I recognize that moments like the one on this flight can be exceedingly important. They offer you and I a chance to learn and to become more Christlike.
Have you had a moment like? It can be cutting to realize you might not be who you thought. But I find comfort in the gospels because we see that the closest followers of Christ stumbled in ways similar to us; and similar to me on that flight.
I was the indignant like the disciples were:
When the parents brought the kids for a blessing (Matt. 19:13-14).
When extravagant worship was taking place (John 12:1-7 ; Matt. 26:6-13).
When the people needed to be fed (Matt. 14:13-18).
In all these situations it was not the Pharisees that got in the way, it was the lack of humility of the followers of Christ. Jesus offered dignity to those who interacted with Him; we can offer no less.
Listening is dignifying and interacting, sharing our experience and having meaningful conversation demonstrates the degree to which we are willing to be vulnerable. I was reminded through this somewhat ordinary situation that when I’m too caught up in my own tiredness to offer Christlike dignity to someone else, there is a problem. The solution is fairly simple, allowing the Lord to so fill me with His Spirit that there is always a reservoir from which to love others.
So do we need to talk to every person on every airplane? NO. But a practical application of the theology we find in the gospel entries mentioned above require that we be prepared to treat people with Christlike dignity.
Jesus didn’t ignore anyone, I will try not to anymore.
