Embrace Endings
Photo by Anton Shuvalov on Unsplash
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. ”
Endings are the beginning of Fulfillment
I don’t like endings. The bottom of a bag of chips for instance, especially salt and vinegar, or Doritos--- are not an ending I like. I just want more chips! Avengers endgame --- I didn’t want it to be over. Re-casting is an especially jarring end for me to deal with; don’t start one Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) and change to another later (Mark Ruffolo) – though Ruffolo is amazing. The end of West Wing, I still don’t accept that it ended. 20 years later I’m still journeying into the office with CJ, Toby and Josh via iTunes (and thanks to West Wing weekly for keeping the show fresh). Side-note: Reboots are my favourite thing right now (i.e. Star Trek: Picard).
Endings though, I typically don’t like them. But they are part of life. Summer cannot begin without spring ending. Relationships—good ones; sometimes they have to end so to make room for new relationships. Or sometimes they have to end so that a different season of relationship can begin. Endings often arise out of geographical moves. A few months into our first long distance move I realized that I couldn’t begin to build new relationships, or effectively fulfill my new ministry role, or do well at any number of new things, without first processing an end to all of those things from our previous location. At that time I hung on too long trying to keep things the same as they were. It cost me.
I believe that my, and possibly your reticence to moving, is connected to our tendency to avoid endings. To be thoughtful leader who innovates and serves others well, we must learn to metabolize necessary endings well. Henry Cloud discusses this at length in his book Necessary Endings (Henry Cloud on Necessary Endings).
That not only means getting used to them but welcoming them. This includes learning they are a natural part of God’s design for discipleship. True discipleship involves sending those we disciple out in to ministry (Luke 10). Sending may not always involve a geographical move, in fact most times it will not. However, helping to disciple people so they can launch out in ministry and help the church grow beyond where you and I have been is not always an end we are comfortable with. But it is a God-designed end. On an important level, it is a fulfillment Proverbs 13:12, in that discipleship which keeps God-planted dreams deferred, will only cause problems. However, discipleship that helps bring those dreams to fulfillment will allow a tree of life, with all its life-giving power to be planted in the hearts and lives of those we disciple. I need to get better at endings. Maybe you do too?
An ending is different than OVER. FINISHED. DONE WITH.
Take relationships for instance. My daughter is no longer a baby. She’s eight. I loved her hanging with me when she couldn’t walk. She’d just go where I went and lay in my lap. It was great. But then she wanted to walk. An end to her infancy, did not mean that our relationship or connection was over. In the same way, when we move into a new season requiring geographical or organizational change there is an end to the way relationships are. But that doesn’t mean we have to be over, finished or done with people. Technology has made staying in touch easier, however, my problem is that I don’t embrace the end. I try to keep things the same. That’s where technology can be a stumbling block for me and I’m guessing some of you. Rather than celebrating that we can stay in touch with others, we can have a tendency to falsely believe relationships haven’t changed. In so doing we prolong the pain of ending; and miss generating new relationships God has for us.
An ending leads to growth.
I good analogy for the kind endings we are talking about is pruning (John 15:2). The tree remains. In fact the tree becomes more healthy after pruning. Ending certain branches, allows for new growth. Without endings we cannot grow in a healthy way. This is an important lesson to remember. We cannot grow if we are not pruned. Therefore, it stand to reason that endings should be a regular part of ministry, life and leading.
An ending can be described as a ‘dream fulfilled’.
Proverbs 13:12 tells us that a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. Receiving the kind of life-giving encouragement and sense of accomplishment helps to launch us into fulfilling the next God-sized dream. However, if we stay on the other side of the ending (dream being fulfilled), just hoping and not wanting things end; we defer God’s plan. We become unhealthy. Throughout the Bible we see endings giving rise to the next purpose or dream being fulfilled: Jesus being forsaken by the Father (Matthew 27:46); Jesus ascension (John 16:7); the beginning of the Church (Acts 2). These are just a few endings that led to new beginnings.
We should not fear endings, the end is hope-filled. After all, we are travellers in this life looking toward the fulfillment of all God has promised (end), seeking the dream which will come to pass: the new heaven and new earth (Rev 21:1;4). That will be an epic ending…or new beginning?
[1] Tyndale House Publishers. Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015. Print.